October 28th

Dear Diary,

Today I had the funniest experience at the saloon.

So there I was sitting calmly as my stylist attended to me, in walk two girls obviously to get their fine on. No big, they didn’t really stand out, so there was nothing to notice about them. Boy was I in for a surprise, yeah nothing really stood out about them, until they opened their mouths.

They couldn’t speak a lick of English yet they wanted everything in the salon. It started with the hair style one of them wanted to have made, all she wanted to make was an invisible part, but it took the stylist about twenty minutes to get what she wanted, I am sure it would have taken an hour if someone with the style she wanted hadn’t  walk in.

Next she wanted to get her nails done, that was when the real laughter started, she kept pointing at her nails and saying she wanted them ‘poof poof’, nobody understood what ‘poof poof’ was, so for a few minutes it was a mixture of ‘poof poof’, laughter and trying to understand what she wanted to be done for her.

Her next target was the guy that sells weavons, she wanted a certain length and colour of weavon, which they guy didn’t have but he kept trying to convince that they one he was showing her was better. Mind you, she walked in with her own weavon which she already asked the stylist to dye blond, note that she is a really dark girl.

So in walks a fair make up artist that sells make up in the salon, and suddenly she wanted to look like her and so in her usually manner, she asked the girl to sell makeup and also teach her how to make up. At first the make up artist was acting all hostile towards her, but when she realised this was a cow that she could keep milking, she suddenly put on her sunny side. At the end she complained that she didn’t look like the makeup artist after her makeup session was over, obviously you can’t look like her, she is fair while you are dark.

It was hilarious and all but I eventually had ask my stylist if she could understand English. Apparently the girls were from Niger Republic and could barely put English sentences together but could speak English and French. He went ahead to note that communication was really important when doing business. He said they were brought in by pimps to ‘attend’ to the needs of our big men; he also questioned their economic value to Nigeria.

While it was hilarious to watch, it raised a few important questions, why are our borders so porous? Girls that had no business being in our country somehow found their way into our country with no problems. You can only imagine what the boys that get in from Niger are up to, definitely up to no good. I think of them and I think of crime, I think of boko haram, I think murder, I think armed robbers.

My stylist also raised an important question, what economic value were they adding to Nigeria, zero. So what were they looking for here? Just here causing a nuisance.

It also brought to fore the very dubious nature of human beings. Everybody in the salon were suddenly willing to serve her the moment they realised she was a cow they could keep milking, a cow that communication barriers didn’t let negotiate. They way they inflated prices was appalling. It’s sad that people are willing to cheat someone who obviously didn’t understand the language or the system.

I cut my hair really low today, very daring I know, lol!!!

Love always,

Iphie,

XoXo