Saturday, August 31, 2013

August 31st

Dear Diary,
I haven't posted in a pretty long while now have I? Well, it was a mixture of both laziness and difficulty putting my thoughts into words I guess.
To my question of the day, why is it that ladies hardly have anything complimentary to say to other ladies. Yes I said 'Ladies', meaning all ladies not some ladies, go ahead an accuse me of generalisation, but whether we like to tell ourselves the truth or not, we are all guilty of this sin.

I complimented a friend on how good she looked a while back, I noticed she had lost some weight and went ahead to tell her how good she looked. Her reply got me thinking about this topic. She was so pleased and she kept thanking me, she went ahead to talk about how ladies never noticed when a friend was looking good or when she had lost some weight that she fought hard to loose. Instead they were always waiting for you to falter and commit some fashion blunder, or 'thankfully' add some much dreaded weight, then they would pounce like tigers that have been lying in wait for it's prey. These weren't her words exactly, but they pretty much sum up what she said. Funny as it seems, it is true, her analysis hit the nail on the head.

And so today while at my cousin's wedding, where we all goshed over how pretty his bride was, but we still had to point out that her dentition wasn't the most perfect one on earth, I remembered my friend's analysis and wondered why we couldn't have just stopped at the complimentary stuff? I remember countless times gisting with friends and how we went ahead to say mean and hurtful things about others, still cant understand why we said them.

But really, why can't we just stick to the complimentary stuff, is there really any need to get so 'mean'? Maybe it has to do with our competitive nature, competing for a man's attention maybe? Maybe it has to do with the fact that we don't like something about ourselves and constantly have to put others down to feel better about ourselves. Reminds me of someone I used to know, who used to hammer on the fact that I was fat back then, funny how when I looked at the pictures from back then, I saw a very skinny child. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she wasn't very comfortable in her own skin and so to make herself feel better, she had to put others down? Maybe it has to do with the fact that we are envious because she has something we are lacking?

I really don't have all the answers, but dear sisters, isn't it high time we start complimenting each other instead of complicating life further than it already is with all the negative energy. Funny enough, this is not related to girls only, I know some guys whose only conversations with me are about how fat I have become.



Lots of love,
Iphie
XoXo

Monday, August 26, 2013

Dear Diary,
What is it like to be a police man in Nigeria (I use 'policeman' in a wide sense to include police women also).
This is dedicated to all the policemen who put their lives on the line everyday to give us some sense of safety.

It can't be easy being a policeman in a country that does not protect you. It can't be easy being a policeman in a country that does not take your safety into consideration. It can't be easy being a policeman in a country that makes no provisions for the family you leave behind, when the 'hazards of the job' eventually catches up with you. It can't be easy being a policeman in a country that would forget you within a twinkle of an eye after you are gone.
Despite all these, every morning when I jog home from church I see a lot of valiant policemen on their daily patrol, all in an effort to give me some sense of safety.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!! I know our policemen are corrupt. Going about asking innocent citizens for roger here, a glass of water there. Hiring out their guns to thieves and and kidnappers, hiring out their services for the protection of the biggest thief, hiring out their services to the highest bidder, be it for evil or for good. And sometimes going as far as killing innocent citizen. They are all these and more, but most importantly they are a product of a system that doesn't work, a system that looks them in the face everyday and mocks their assumed stupidity.

We were all shocked by the pictures and videos of the Lagos Police College that went viral. That is just an example of what the men that have the duty of keeping us safe have to endure. It takes a lot of courage to wake up each morning, put on your uniform, strap on your gun and go into the world to take whatever the day brings, knowing that each day can be your last.  It takes a lot of courage to put on a uniform  the identifies you as an enemy to the operators of the underworld, without you even knowing your opponent has already sighted you. It takes a lot of courage to face these operators of the underworld with guns and ammunitions that cannot compete with the toy gun of a mere child. It takes a lot of courage to be a policeman, courage that I am afraid, I do not possess.

I have always maintained that the policemen, the soldiers, the doctors and after a recent chat with my Dad, I added the teachers, should be the highest paid members of our society and not the thugs occupying elective offices and appointment. These four profession are very important to the continuous existence and safety of our society and so deserve to be greatly compensated. The police and the soldiers to ensure our safety, the doctors to ensure we stay healthy and the teacher because the highest role in the building of a successful society is the teacher. These four should receive the highest allocation in the country's budget. Maybe our politicians should thinking of dividing their remuneration and allowances into two and sharing it into two, then we would know that they serve for the love of the nation and nothing else.

This is dedicated to all the policemen who put their lives on the line everyday to give us some sense of safety, I just want to say a big thank you for keeping me and our streets 'safe'.


Love always,
Iphie.
XoXo

Saturday, August 24, 2013

August 24th 2013

Dear Diary,
Why has everyone on earth made it their mission to annoy me today?
So today started on a good note, it rained all morning, therefore ruining my plans to jog to and from church, but that was ok, I guess the showers is a sign of God blessing us right? After we got home, I rested for a bit and then proceeded to take my mum to the market, had a mini bath too from the rain again. Got home tired but still took out time to carry out my abs challenge and more, hehehe, we have to whip that body into shape.

Anyway the day didn't get that bad until this evening, when it just seemed like the whole world was bent on making me angry. First the rain that fell on me caused my hair to be itchy, I wasn't 'angry with the rain' earlier today but right now, I am not so sure. I proceeded to try on the clothes the tailor had delivered and none of them fit, the ones that fit still had their own issues, even the ones that I returned for amendments still didn't fit. I was already irritated by my itchy hair and and a friend whose mission on earth was to annoy me today, the whole tailor thing just blew me over the top. Partly because, well I have run out of what to wear to church and also because I had given out and paid for these clothes to be sewn almost 3months ago, I am certain it is more than 2months. Then add that to my friend who kept calling me even though I had made it obvious I didn't want to talk, someone also kept calling me with a number I didn't have saved on my phone. Another one kept asking me on BBM what was wrong even though I clearly stated it more than twice that I didn't want to talk. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you care about me and want to help, but when I say I don't feel like talking at the moment why can't you just respect that. To make that worse my sister did something that I ordinarily wouldn't have gotten angry about, but you know how when you are already angry even the littlest things cause you to explode, exactly what happened. A lot of people just kept asking what was wrong and somehow that just kept irritating me.
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know all these are little things that I ordinarily shouldn't be pissed about, but I was already irritated so I just exploded.

Sigh, some of my friends might see this and know it is them that I am referring to and I am sorry, but I just had to let it out, if not it would eat me up inside. I would be fine tomorrow morning.

Love always,
Iphie.
XoXo

Friday, August 23, 2013

August 23rd

Dear Diary,
Why are Nigerians so unpatriotic?
Yeah yeah yeah, we are very very unpatriotic!! Why on earth would you prefer another man's land to the one God put you in?? I mean, God knew what He was doing when He put you here, He put you here for a purpose, a purpose you can't achieve if you are in far away 'another man's land'.

I would rather be a first class animal in my own country than a second class citizen in another man's country. Thats right, no matter how much we would like to deceive ourselves  that racisim is a thing of the past , the truth is, racisim is still a part of us, we live with it everyday.

I schooled in England for a year and I have been a victim of racism. I remember a number of times when i received unwarranted insults not because I had done anything wrong, but because I am African, the colour of my skin brought me insults. I remember visiting my friend in London last summer, I was walking down to use the ATM machine, when this fellow standing by his open window shouts out the 'N' word at me without any provocation. I was to shocked to reply at first but when I regained my composure,  lets just say he picked up new Igbo words. Or was it when my friends and I visited a theme park just outside Birmingham. We were sitting on the kerb after a long day filled with rides waiting for a taxi, when suddenly this beat up car filled with white teenagers made a u turn after passing us the first time, to come give us the middle finger and again throw the 'N' word at us. Again lets just say the learnt new Igbo words. Or is it while sitting and waiting for the bus or even inside the bus when these Briticos feel they are too good to be seated beside me? Oh well more room for me innit? Or my brother who was on a trip from Abuja to London through Germany? He walked up to his seat and saw his German sit mate already seated and so he said hello, the German got up and asked for a change of seat. Oh well more sleeping room for him right?

I don't get Nigerians who go to another man's land and think oh the country was the way it is from the beginning, they even start loving the country more than the owners. I was speaking with someone who doesn't want to return home to Nigeria recently and his argument was that Nigerian leaders are corrupt while there is no corruption in England. Are you freaking kidding me??? No corruption in England?? Wow!! Those English people have taken corruption and made it legal. I wouldn't even deny that Nigeria is corrupt, but the fact is those foreign countries had their own issues too, some of them corruptions others greedy leaders, but the fact is they still have their issues. But the citizens of those countries didn't run away from their country and her issues, the stayed and made things better. If we all keep running, how do we expect Nigeria to get any better?? Nigeria is just 53 years old as a country, a country made up of people with different cultural identities. Now compare that with the United Kingdom's over 300 years or America's 237 years. That's a really long time to look beyond your cultural differences and to bring about solutions to their problems, even at that, they still have their issues.
I would rather put all my efforts into developing my country than into making another man's country better. The funny thing is after giving 'HER' your best, the owners of the country can still decide to throw you out. In my opinion, learn all you can and come back and try to use it to make your country better. Your contribution might not make an impact countrywide, but at least make a difference within your community, be an example to others.

Like I said, I would rather be a first class animal in my country than a second class human being in another man's land.

Love always,
Iphie.
XoXo

Thursday, August 22, 2013

August 21st

Dear Diary,
What is it with Abuja drivers and being the worst drivers in the world? If there was an award for for worst drivers on earth, your guess is as good as mine as to what city would be the repeated winner.

Abuja drivers can drive any sane person mad. I don't know if its the good roads that are to blame, but there is just something about drivers in Abuja that drives fellow road users crazy. I used to think that it was the taxis and buses that were the cause of my road rage, yes I have road rage but I am not proud of it. But with the ban on buses my road rage still remains, so I guess its a joint effort by all drivers in Abuja to see my 'road raging side'.

Sometimes I observe what some drivers do on the road and I wish I had super powers. Guess what my super power would be! It would be the ability to stop any defaulting driver, get him or her out of the car, after some strokes of the cane I would go ahead to teach them the basics about driving. *sigh*

How can you be negotiating a turn without trafficating, come on I am human like you I don't have psychic power, how am I meant to know you are turning off so I can clear and keep moving at the same speed. Instead you make me step on my brakes and then spread my fingers out in a waka while spewing some unlady like words. I can't even begin to talk about the dangerous driving and overtaking we witness on the roads everyday. How can you see a Zebra crossing in front of a school and keep driving like a maniac, driving like you were part of some street race in a residential area!! How can you be on the left end of the highway and suddenly remember two second before that you are meant to be taking the exit on the right?? Beats me all the time. Don't even get me started on the female drivers!! Yeah yeah yeah, I know I am a female driver and I still have my faults and I have a lot to learn. But come on, Abuja female drivers take female driving to another level. Today I sat behind a woman driver that was too scared to cross the road even after the other drivers that were trying to cross stopped to let her pass. Her actions caused one little traffic around that central mosque junction, and suddenly when the road was free she start feeling like a road Jackie Chan and was pulling stunts for us. Makes me wonder who was stupid enough to issue you a driver's licence and put you behind the wheels of a car. *sigh* Make no mistakes there are men that drive like women, seriously!!!! I can't marry a 'male woman driver', he would be too scared to take tough decisions and stand by them --__--.

Sigh, I needed this rant, *turns on ignition and zooms off to the bank*!!

Love always,
Iphie
XoXo

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

August 19th

Dear Diary,
What is it with Nigerian girls and making every guy in their life their bank?
I was speaking with someone recently, let's call her Candie. Candie is new in town, so she needs a lot of things since she has no family here. She needs a house and need to get the house furnished, she also need a car to get her around the city, without the hassle of hoping from taxi to bus. Understandable needs if you ask me.

My only problem with her is her means of getting the money to carter to all these her needs. Each time we speak, the only thing that comes out of her mouth is how she needed to ask this guy for money and how she needs to beg another one for money to do all these things. She always has gist of which married man she is hooking up with for money and who just dashed her money without touching her just because she is the 'most beautiful girl on earth'.

I am not one to judge oh, but making a man your bank can't earn you any respect now can it. I believe taking money from guys or even asking them for money brings about serious see finish. I am a very proud person so I hate giving people avenues to insult me. Money is the greatest 'bringer' of see finish, if you think I am lying take money from a man and and see if he doesn't suddenly feel like he owns you?

When I was in school, my motto used to be 'if my father cannot get it for me then I don't need', this by implication meant that there was no need to get from any man. I guess now that I am going into the world of workers, my motto has to change, I guess it would read something like this 'Iphie Love, if your salary cannot get it for you then you don't need it'.

I strongly believe that men and women are equal, and so no one should claim exclusive rights to paying for a date. If I go out on a date with a guy, I always make sure I have enough money to cover the date, but most importantly I make sure we go to a place I know I can afford, like i said, I hate insults, I also hate being disgraced. But that doesn't mean I am not a romantic oh, before you guys would come and start using this against me whenever we go on a date. I don't mind paying for the date, but you can step in and say 'don't worry, I would get this one'. But from time to time let me pay for the date, I don't want to start feeling like a burden. My sisters, hard work pays and there is this confidence you get from spending the money you worked hard for.

Dear girls, the only man that should be your bank is your father!!

Love always,
Iphie
Xoxo

Sunday, August 18, 2013

August 18th 2013

Dear Diary,
What is it with men and just urinating anywhere it pleases them. I mean come on, you just feel pressed and you just whip out your member and go party anywhere the feeling catches you.

I was out yesterday with my friends, we went to eat fish and drink at one of the numerous gardens in our beautiful capital. This was my first time there and the friend we went with, didn't really know the place, so we had the misfortune of sitting around where drunk guys came to release the excess liquid in their system. Fortunately for us, the place wasn't smelling and nobody came to pee till we were done eating, peeing drunk men was the sign we needed to get out of there.
But what really caught my attention was one of the people that came to urinate. Amongst them was one of the guys who came to take our drink order, he ended up not taking our orders tho. So this guy walks to the wall, gets out his member, pees, shakes it off, puts it back into his trouser and without washing his hand goes ahead to pick up the drinks he had been carrying and goes off to serve his waiting customers!!!

REALLY!!!!! OMG!!!!!! EWWWWWWWW!!!!! GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
How can you be so dirty. Reminds me of why I would rather hug guys than to shake them.

I remember one day while waiting in the car for my mum who had into the market, two guys just walk to the front of the car, faced the wall and bam, whipped out their member and let out all the pee in the world. The most irritating part was that they shook hands with friends whom they met after walking for about a minute. Really???? Gross!!!

I am not even going to go into how irritating this habit is, if not I am sure I wouldn't shake any guy, eat any food prepared by a man (suya and catfish especially) and I would even stop hugging them.
All I have to say is; get to a functioning toilet fast when you need to pee and while you are at it, make sure its one with soap and water to do the necessary when you are done!!!! Thank you!!

Love always,
Iphie
XoXo

Saturday, August 17, 2013

August 17th 2013

Dear Diary,
What is it with Nigerians and cutting the line, or as we like to call it "shunting", hope I got that right.

I was in church today  for confession and there was queue and suddenly this girl walks to the front of the queue and asks the people seated there to make some space for her. We were all too dazed to react, and so they gently shifted and made space for her. And yes I knew she wasn't seated there before, because I looked back when she walked in and I heard when she asked where the confession was taking place.

It got me thinking about how we claim to want things to change yet are so unwilling to change ourselves, how we complain of the same thing we are guilty of, in others. If we can be so, permit me to use corrupt for lack of a better word, in a place that is supposed to be so holy, in a place that we are meant to be at our best behaviour, how then do we expect to change Nigeria?

This reminds me of what I tell my male friends, when a girl really likes you its not the trips to Dubai that counts, its the text message or unexpected calls or visit to see how she is doing that matters the most, the trip to Dubai becomes an extra that she can do without if you can't afford it. Apply this same logic to changing Nigeria, it's not the extraordinary things you can do for Nigeria that matter the most it's the little things you do in an extraordinary way that matter.

We can't expect Nigeria to change except we are willing to change ourselves. Be the change Nigeria needs today.

Love always,
Iphie.
XoXo